Subject: hitting it right on the nose

Date: Sat, 26 Aug 2000 12:55:31

"You shoot guns?"

'no...'

"you seeking help for that?"

-My Father's friend, Eric

While visiting my father, I had the oportunity to use his Thompson centerfire .243

I've shot .22s but never with a scope, and no larger calibers. This had both.

Shooting this gun I learned two things:

1)Do not place your eye too close to the scope

2)Do not hold the gun loosely

Independently these are probably harmless, but I violated both of these together and the gun kicked back and cut me on the nose with the edge of the scope. I went on to shoot two more shots, and then tried to clean the blood leaking onto my face.

Unlike me, Monty shot well, and made neither of my mistakes.

I felt scared of the gun, and there's really no remedy for that other than to shoot some more, which I decided to do.

Those next three shots missed the bullseye. But when I got down to the target, the three holes look almost like one. At one hundred yards the cluster of three was smaller than a quarter. I guess the sight needs adjusting.

Failing at something and then going back to face it feels good. Succeeding at that something after failing feels even better. If I could bottle that, they'd outlaw it.

The cut on my nose has healed now, hardly a scar. And its a mark that reminds me I'm able to fight me fears and win. Come to think of it, it's probably more convenient than a bottle anyway.

Excelsior!

-Bill :|

Subject: We made it!

Date: Sat, 26 Aug 2000 12:54:32

I'm typing this on the shore of Yorktown. We made it. It's been an amazing trip.

We're going to camp behind the beer garden and listen to the VA symphony play by the beach. A beer in he pub. and a swim in the bay.

We'll return to our respective homes via train...but forever changed.

Excelsior! -Bill :| & Monty };]

Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 17:48:34

THE ADVENTURE OF THE WOUNDED BUTT

A new trailer hitch did wonders for my speed. No more cautiously biking over bumps, trying to avoid the jerking and swinging of an ill-tempered trailer. Now, my bike and trailer were one! Zooming across the Mount Vernon trail, cornering hard, leaning into turns, woohoo! the zest for speed is one apparently difficult for me to resist.

And perhaps, resist I should. The rain began. I cautiously went over wooden plank bridges, but where this caution might have been better placed is on the sharp asphalt corners which I zealously took.

Monty's alertness prevented his bike's tires from marring my body as my bike slipped out from under me and I bounced ass first to the ground and, strangely up to my feet.

Ow. Those slick tires I ride can slip in new rain, and a painful reminder of this impressed not my brain, but my other end. I walked around and had to concetrate to remain upright as blood pressure left my head, made my vision darken and my equilibrium fuzzy. Taking this as a strong suggestion, I lay on the grass, rain falling on my face, willing the pain and injury to leave my body, where it all but mildly did. I covered my bike and myself in the increasing rain and squatted beneath a tree and waited.

The rain stopped. The pain subsided. I packed up and cycled on to Mt. Vernon, hopefully a little wiser, that I am not protected from my foolhardy self.

Excelsior!

-Bill :|

Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 17:48:32

THE ADVENTURE OF NEAL

The Bilenky Boys who make all kinds of vehicles which mostly resemble bicycles tell me that the hitch is the weakest part of a trailer. To this I can attest. Even in Washington, early in our trip, I was tightening and adjusting mine. The previous day found your intrepid adventurers inside Fragers, the most maze-like hardware store conceived by man. Successfully obtaining longer screws that kind of fit the stripped out holes in the sad piece of aluminum that functions as my hitch, I had hoped it would function adequately for the rest of our trip. This was in vain.

Rope in a vaguely prayer-like way wrapped my trailer hitch as a pathetic, ill-functioning restraint against the tortuous twisting and swinging the road caused in my trailer hitch and which the longer screws were unable to adequately curtail.

Continuing down the Washington & Old Dominion Trail after helping Paul, Neal rode by. He asked if we were really riding from Seattle and if we really helped Paul. Affirmatively answering, Neal asked if there was anything we needed. Sighing defeatedly, I mentioned a tool and die shop could help tap and thread new screws for my hitch. I asked if he knew of any. "Is that all? Follow me to my shop." Incredulously we did.

What followed in the next 2 hours is difficult to briefly describe. Tapping, threading, hacksaws, sawzalls, shims, and power drills were all used in a flurry of creativity admidst guitar, banjo, and biking memorabilia which served as wallpaper in Neal's personal automotive garage. The outcome was not merely a repaired hitch, but one that was better than the original and far stronger, if less beautiful. All thanks to sawing a handlebar stem in two. Is anyone else aware those are solid aluminum!?!

It works better than ever now. I tried to pay him or at least buy him lunch. He said, "Don't worry about it, these thing all work out in the end." <eerie music begins>

<twilight zone voice on>You may think it's funny how in Paul's moment of need, we arrived, spare tube, spare pump and all. I am filled with awe how Neal arrived able to deliver me from my predicament.

Bikers have spare stuff; we travel the same routes. Automotive machinists are a rarer bird. I have not seen Water turned to Gatorade(tm) this trip, but the subtle coincidences fill me with wonder. How are we so blessed?

Excelsior!

-Bill :|

Subject: perhaps a little demonstration would not be in order

Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 17:48:30

Many of you following the High Adventure page have read about my accident before this trip.

But everyone convening for the National Bike Greenway, had not. Curious about how I was able to come away with mere scratches, I demonstrated on the linoleum tile. Still curious, an encore was encouraged. I took off my glasses, and did it again. This last time however, my temple was nicked by the floor. As I stood up, blood began to pour from the side of my face.

I felt so stupid. First of this totally detracted from subsequent stories bikers would tell this evening, and I had to find bandages and get attention. Boxers get this stuff all the time; I had little pain, but leaked lots.

Michael who did first aid in the military, made a makeshift butterfly bandage for my cut. Though stitches were discussed, it was such a clean cut, I decided it was not necessary. Only a slight scar may occur.

When will I ever learn?

-Bill :|

Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 16:48:36

Subject: high adventure

True Believers!

We made it to Washington DC, succeeded in riding around the capital, taking pictures, and not being arrested. I even got to speak Russian with some exchange students.

But all you truly following our escapades know that this is not the end goal. Only when our front tires rest in the chesapeake bay, and scotch is in our hand, can this adventure truly be called completely successful.

In the meantime adventure continues to haunt us....(all of the following occurred in the same day.)

THE ADVENTURE OF PAUL

Paul Simmons. We met him yesterday. Paul had a full set of panniers, a flat rear tire, and crooked rear wheel. As we all worked on the tire, he told us how he came to these circumstances. Vet, 53, missing some upper teeth and biking from Atlanta. A victim of lost gov. paperwork, he has no home, no money, two teflon knee caps, but is full of brushes-with-death stories with cars, motorcycle chains to the face at 90 mph, and small town police officers. Cogent and affable, we talked to him over an hour. I ended up giving him a spare tube, and since he didn't have a pump, my spare pump. We also gave him my last package of poptarts and some loose change. We rode away wishing him well.

At the risk of sounding like a twilight zone episode, what makes us so different from Paul. All the harassment and problems he has experienced sharply contrast with the kindness and generosity we've experienced. Why?

Is it because we have sign: "We are biking from Seattle to DC." A sign that declares our courage to do something insane and life threatening like ride across this car infested country on a bike?

Is it because we're relatively young? Following our dreams, something many people enjoy vicriously experiencing (without all that nasty rain!) or wish they had done at our age?

Is it because there is two of us, and thus harder to take advantage of?

Or Is it simply because we have all our teeth?

I don't know what makes our experiences different than Paul's...but I hope we keep it.

Excelsior!

-Bill :|

Sent: Friday, August 18, 2000 6:51 AM

Subject: where the heck are we?

We are sitting in Elmo's cafe.

Last night we slept in a cemetary.

Two days ago we were in Intercourse.

Now we're at Boring.

Surely this is something of significance?

-Bill :| & Monty };]

Sent: Friday, August 18, 2000 5:21 PM

Subject: high adventure?

True believers, this will be a different format.

>Aww...<

But there will be studio audience particiption.

>Yay!!<

Looks like we've got the idea. Yesterday, Monty broke two spokes.

>Aww...<

But, I had some spare spokes...

>Yay!!<

But, the broken ones were on the freewheel side of his bike making it impossible to put them on without more tools..

>Aww...<

A biker passed..

>Yay!!<

He didn't stop.

>Aww...<

But 5 mins later he came back. He was Chris Itoff, a prof. mtn bike racer.

>Yay!!<

He tolds us that not a 100yds further was a store, "Hike & Bike"

>Yay!!<

We put Monty's bike together again and rolled down hill to the Hike & Bike. The store owner even had time to help us.

>Yay!!<

But, even he couldn't get the freewheel (the rear hub-gear-thing) off.

>Aww...<

He suggested going to a bike store nearer town. Turns out we could take the NCR rail-trail almost all the way.

>Yay!!<

We got to the bike shop via the rail trail & really busy streets. At the bike shop I bought a bell for the rally and we were told it would cost slightly more for a new wheel as to fix the current one. In addition to spokes, the bearings were shot.

>Aww...<

Well, what do you do with a friend who has been with you nigh 4000 miles? Do you you throw them away? NO! you repair them and pay their hospital bills and have Barbeque at Andy Nelson's Pit. Wow that's good stuff.

>Yay!!<

We asked the bike people where we had to go to DC, and it was back the way we came to the Hike & Bike. There just isnT an easy to explain route around Baltimore.

>Aww...<

So we went all the way back to where we started. We rode until not just dark, but very dark, and slept in a cemetary. All in a day's work for Bill & Monty. ..And remember, WE REALLY JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

Excelsior!

-Bill :|

Sent: Thursday, August 17, 2000 8:05 AM

Subject: Bill and Monty: The Update

Attention! Attention!

Bill and Monty have entered Maryland. Maryland appears to have lots of short hills and a lack of breakfast. We camped beside a field of sheep last night. The touring life is still pretty good. We're somewhere on {23} trying to work our way west around Baltimore. We'll let you know when we make it to D.C.

-Bill :| & Monty };]

Subject: NBG Bill & Monty Herd Sheep, Find Sasquatch!

Date: Sun, 13 Aug 2000 13:01

As they draw closer and closer to DC, Bill and Monty are beginning to hallucinate. We saw Stav go thru this stage when he was in New Mexico. You see the road does funny things to you, especially if you've been on it since Seattle:

Many of you have heard me remark: you're not people, you're sheeple!

This week I got to find out more what that really implies, at a Benedictine Monastery.

At Mount Savior Monastery, the monks raise, and eat! sheep. I was staying at their place, they needed help. You see the equation.

There is nothing more exhilarating, at least this day, than running barefooted in galoshes, across wet fields, chasing wayward sheep. Especially when your legs have been cooped up doing the same repetitive motion for days. Thru brambles, feces, mud, and slime, i ran stumbled, fell, and yes, occasionally cursed.

Despite the lack of a trained dog, the sheep were all corralled by Monty, I and two Monks with an ATV. This is a lot quicker to type than it was to actually do. I hope you all realize that.

Its funny how sheep follow the follower.

Get too close and they'll run between two people. Don't get close enough and they don't move. There is some critical distance that causes the correct response, the correct action: moving into the corral. and there are weirdo sheep that LEAD other sheep off in the wrong direction, what is up with that?

People have been compared to sheep for over 2000 years. And maybe they act the same way. I can see some similarities. Ideas or issues thrust into their face they run away from; ideas they don't get exposed to they ignore, but there must be the right distance, the right awareness for sensitivity to take hold, for the desired response to occur.

I don't know about other people, but I can see this with the political correctness. It's shoved in my face, and I ignore it. I ignore it sometimes on purpose. I'll gladly call a girl a woman, as long as I'm paid 1/3 more than she is. That's exactly the kind of stuff I'll say. Oh, and I'll steal lines from Tom Lehrer, too.

Maybe biking and the failing environment are the same way. The right exposure needs to be found in order to create an effect with the masses. How can the issue of the benefits and need to increase biking be expressed?

Well, even with a whole day of practice, I still had sheep get away from me. I'm sure that means something.

Excelsior! -Bill :|

Subject: Sasquatch!

Date: Sun, 13 Aug 2000 10:43

:Last night we camped on state land underneath some apple trees. During the night we heard something, not a dog!, bark at us. TWICE! FROM DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS!!

Monty thinks that whatever it was, i've said it wasn't a dog, right?, that it wanted to eat the apples around our campsite. If this was sasquatch, and I think it was, then our very lives may have been saved by our body seasoning!

After a hard day of riding, its hard to imagine something smelling worse than us. And it saved our lives! I mean, from the way we stank, whatever it was, and I think it was sasquatch, probably thought there were 30 or 40 of us, and was too scared to approach.

But what was it? was there only one? Here are the facts: there was something like barking, but unlike any dog we've heard; it came from two directions; and I think it was sasquatch. Those are the only real facts we have.

I know, from listening to the art bell show (www.artbell.com), that sometimes the sasquatch smell really bad. But we were upwind so, we couldn't smell it. And I've also heard they don't attack people. But let's think about that for a second: 7'+ tall, hairy, upright,and non-human, plus they're really strong. I don't know about you, but that sounds like I should start running right now.

Sasquatch isn't something to mess around with. We're outta here!

-Bill :|

p.s. Monty says he smelled rotting meat at the campsite. I didn't. Is this further evidence of Monty's enhanced senses, or was sasquatch hiding near him ready to tap him on the shoulder.

Sent: Sunday, August 06, 2000 12:47 PM

Subject: Bill & Monty have left Canada

Hello True Believers, Bill & Monty have returned to the US of A, leaving behind many new friends, and having not paid for lodging anywhere in Canada! The Canucks have been great, Today, we met the CycleAmerica team. Roughly 100 people stong cycling from Everett, WA to Boston. We were offered some snacks and drinks, even a place to stay in Niagra Falls. I met one person from, Sid, from Fort Collins, CO. Its a small world: I'm from Greeley right next store. Tonight we looked for a motel but everyone is booked here near Lake Ontario apparently. Faith let us stay in her back yard. woohoo! Providence continues to watch our backs and support our trip in so many ways. Hope you are having as much fun as us!

Excelsior! -Bill :|

Wednesday, August 02, 2000 3:24 PM

Subject: Saga of the seat

dum dum Da Daa dum dum Da Daa dum dum.. (i can't remeber the MacGuyver theme song.)

Imagine yourself with structural cracks in your bike seat 100 mile fom home. What do you do? Well, here's what I chose.

First get a hotel. Sleep. Unfortunately this cost $60. This was the cheapest motel we could find. According to rumor this motel room also came with sixlegged friends, but we never saw any.

In the morning (saturday), Monty looked at the problem, and thought some JB Weld would be in order. I found some putty epoxy, but that didn't last very long only 6 blocks before cracking. Monty found the Qwik dry JB Weld. 4 hous later (after watching the X-men movie), we were on the road.

10 miles later, in the dark the seat gave up and so did I. The seat broke on the left side, and i was too tired to worry about fixing it. We pulled to the side of the road and slept until morning.

looking at it in the morning, I took the only thing i had, rope, and lashed the seat together as best i could, making the rope protect me from the sharp edges of aluminum, and still provide some vague structure to the seat. I was going to have to ride 100 miles on it to get to my dad's.

Amazingly it worked. I made it.

At the same time I used my pocketmail device to e-mail the head of the National Bike Breenway and get advice. He sent me the e-mail for my bike manufacturer and relayed his experiences of welding his own bike seat on his crosscountry trip. By the time I talked to my bike company on monday, they only needed the address to ship my new seat to. This was great service.

I now have the new seat installed and everything is working fine.

Excelsior! -Bill :|

Wednesday, August 02, 2000 11:09 AM

Subject: I bring out the cthulhu doll and the nastiest storm we've been in

I can hear people talk right now because the rain hitting the tin roof of this farmers market is too loud. Thuder doesn't help either. We have to scream to be heard. Its 10:45am.

Our bikes are slightly protected from the rain under an awning. But rain going diagonally can only be defeated with a garage. i'll review the damage when its over.

---

Rain stopped..Everything is wet. What can I say?

---

We went down the road about 2 miles and stopped at a resturant for some food. It rained AGAIN. Did get some directions and a lead on a campsite...we'll see what happens. This part of canada along highway 3 is all rural. Everyone farms or something. It's great.

Someday we'll be dry, but I don't think it will be before we're out of canada. :)

-Bill :|

Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2000 10:04 AM

Subject: ATTENTION: Bill and Monty have left the US.

>From our secret camp north of the border, this is Bill and Monty broadcasting our general wellbeing.

Tho' spies report possible rain for the next three days, such rumors should be discounted with postive attitude. It is going to rain for the next three days, and we dont really care.

It cant make us any wetter than the last two days have made us. With American righteousness (arrogance?) we move ever forward.

Tonight we report that Bill and Monty have succeeded in acquiring a hidden stronghold in a local canadian park. Buttressed from the forces of rain and other weather by nylon and gortex, Bill and Monty continue their adventures in the Great White (WET) North.

Tune in to subsequent episodes where Bill and Monty discover Canadian women and the forces of Canadian law enforcement. (seperate episodes?)

-Bill :|

Friday, July 21, 2000 10:53 AM

Subject: More entries for "things not to do on a bike tour."

Don't eat at the Olivegarden. Sure, maybe there is some sassy redhead hostess there, but, sure as sure, you'll eat to much, and may not have enough time to make the 12:30am ferry @ Manitowoc. (56mi in 4.5 hours)

But we did! Ok, there are still some issues with my trailer hitch, and that uneven pavement tossed Monty (the indestructable) and bent his front rim like a nasty half-orc, and we got lost once.

Good things did happen. We got to ride on an unfinished expansion of {10} I made sure to piss on it, not so much as an expression of disdain for cars and the scarring concrete consequences of their infrastructure, but to mark the territory for cycling tommorrow if not, today.

We did get there at 11:45pm: plenty of time! All those 18-20mph miles paid off. 3 hours of sleep on the deck of the S.S. Badger, minus $70+ for fare and we amuck in Michigan. Yeehaw!

We got Monty's wheel straightened out in Lundington. I'm still scanning the pawn shops for a cheap road guitar (I should have bought that $50 one in Minneapolis). We're finally back on the road.

Should be in Lansing, MI sat. night.

Excelsior! -Bill :|  

Thursday, July 20, 2000 9:21 AM

Subject: Road Tales from Stevens Point

Hi Martin, Ann and friends,

If any National Bike Greenway people are passing thru Stevens Point, WI, they gotta, gotta stop by Archies. It is downtown, a bar and grill, and everyone knows where this is. Monty and I rode into town about seven pm, not knowing where we were going to end up. Little did we know it would be archie's.

We went to a diner, but after recalling the guy we met today, whose completely sloshed best friend/roommate called the police when this guy pushed him out a window, which made the guy narc him out as a mj user, and now no one speaks to each other ( He was lonely, living in a tent), we needed to drink a beer.

We continued into downtown, saw two bars, no grills, and then, like a shining oasis, Archie's appeared.

A women's golf club(pun intended) was there, and we quickly me Archie and Sharon, and Bev. Archie had Mike stop by to do a bit on us for the local paper. I gave him all the web addresses, Martin. Sharon bought us a drink, Bev let us camp in her backyard, and we stayed at Archies until eleven, eating great food, having ginger schnaps, and talking. What great people!

Living in a small town is great fun. Too bad we're just passing thru. I would like to stop by here again.

Hope everyone is having as much fun as we are. -Bill Tucker

Subject: WI is scary

I don't know what's going on in this state, but someone has taken a lot of black paint, a band saw, and an inordinate amount of ply wood, and created a host of disturbing images, what with being on the cusp of the 21st century and all. First of all, there are the silhouettes of cowboys leaning up against buildings, implying such people are lazy; something blantantly untrue; I know, because I live in Colorado. Secondly, there are numerous images of girls or women wielding various improvised weapons such as brooms and rolling pins and chasing boys or men around the side of buildings. Such sexist scenes of domestic violence should not be tolerated. In this egalitarian age, these should be taken down, or equal treatment given. Where are the scenes with men or boys chasing young women with shot guns, or axes. Absent I tell you. Absent. These images send a clear, consistent message: Women can hit men with various household objects. I don't know about the rest of you currently in WI, but I'm riding 100mi today, and again tommorrow and taking the first ferry out of this state. For the rest of you men, I suggest you do the same. -Bill Tucker

July 6:  Email from Bill to Ann:

We're in Fargo. Last night we went to a bar to get a beer to celebrate 2000 miles on the road. Turns out it was a gay bar. A couple free beers, and we had a place to stay. By this morning we were $50 richer. WE CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

We met Mike and Marlin and they let us at their huge house. After we spent an hour relating various adventures at the bar, the bartender came up and gave us free beer and $30. We launched the rest of our fireworks in Mike's backyard, drank winsor and cokes and dried my hammock which was wet from the big storm the night before. In the morning, Mike gave us $20 for breakfast. Great conversation, beautiful house, nice guys. Just biking around Fargo a guy stopped us and brought us to his house and gave us cookies and cokes. People here are really nice.

July 5:  Note from Bill to Ann:

There's evidence on this disk of the NAKED MILE. This had been a suggestion one of us made in Missoula. It was 10:47pm, dark, few cars. And we'd been riding 9.5 hours. We were on an Indian Reservation in the middle of more mosquitos than we could shake a you-know-what at. For two miles we rode with no clothes (ok, there were helmets and shoes). As we started this light from cars appeared behind, in front and on a side road. We took the side road right in front of their lights. I can't remember if we waved. On this new road cars passed us from the front and behind, I was amazed at how fast we were able to go. I saw a 5 mph increase, obviously due to lack of wind drag. :) After 2 miles (one for each of us, I guess) we put our clothes back on, slapping and cursing those mosquitos all the way.

I've ordered new parts from the manufacturer and according to the schedule, I'll have the parts in on the day before I leave and be able to pack up my bike.  Disaster has been narrowly thwarted.